My family took a weekend vacation this summer where we visited an art museum. In the hallway sat a red phone under a glass cube with the sign: ”In case of emergency, break glass”. It was supposed to be a replica of the phones in White House movie scenes. We have always had a running joke in our family that if the phone rings after 10 pm someone had better be really sick, injured or dead. In other words, it had better be an emergency. 10 pm in our house is bedtime and my brain is “closed for the day”.
The question in today’s world then becomes “Why is 10 pm the cutoff time for the phone ringing?” Why is it acceptable to interrupt family time between 4 pm and 10 pm? Is our family not as important as the 8 hours we just spent answering the phone at work? A time management CD produced a few years ago said: ”The phone is for the convenience of the person who owns it, not for the person who is using it.” In other words, we are not required to jump to attention every time the phone rings, especially since 8 out of 10 times it’s someone calling to sell us something. Surprises are only fun on birthdays or if someone you love is on the other end of that unexpected call. And unless it is either of those cases, is anything ever said in a phone conversation that can’t at least be started in an e-mail (No SPAM, please)? How often when the phone does ring is it actually an emergency? Maybe once or twice per year. Anyone know where to get one of those glass cubes?
Do, think, feel… As the father of 3 very wonderful children, I have to appreciate their growing independence. I was reading some posts on www.dadomatic.com, and found it interesting how many dads think just like I do: Many of us don’t want our kids to grow up too fast. We want them to enjoy the time they have as children because they only get to do it once. As parents we are faced with a difficult dilemma: How do we raise them within the boundaries of the household while encouraging them to explore and find their own way?
Has there ever been a time that your child lashed out at you for “getting too involved”? My oldest daughter is thirteen, so I can see this one coming. What’s funny is that by the time she get to my age, the world will have bombarded her with its attitudes, opinions, fears and worries. This will then influence her to be reactive as opposed to proactive, just like her dad. How does this happen? How does an independently-minded child become an overwhelmed adult? Every day, advertisers, marketing professionals, and sales people spend millions to gain our attention in an attempt to make us focus on what is important to them. Why do they need to tell US what’s important? Where is our sense of responsibility to ourselves and our families? When, better yet HOW, do we regain control of the child within us who never wanted to be told what to do?
Nobody has enough of either these days and it doesn’t look like anyone will very soon. So what do we do with the precious little of both we do have? How do we make the decisions that matter most to us and our families? It’s funny how marketing and advertising representatives influence nearly everything we do without ever getting to know us first. Most of the time they specifically persuade us to think about things we don’t have the time or money to think about. When they interrupt whatever it is we are doing, we immediately stop and take their argument or concern personally. They have gained our attention: exactly what they wanted to do. Now we’re off track and in “their world”, receptive to whatever solution they are pitching. Why is this possible? Because we don’t have time to analyze everything associated with our lives…we just want our problems or worries to go away.
